Words of Wisdom From Past Grooms
Certainly, careful preparation is paramount when it comes to weddings! From Grooms who have learned from their own experiences, we pass on this helpful advice to assist you. And while we have provided a detailed overview of your many responsibilities as the Groom, you might want to consider purchasing a copy of "The Groom's Survival Manual" by Michael R. Perry if you want a more detailed resource. It comes to us very highly recommended—some Grooms refer to this text as their most valuable asset-a sort of Wedding Prep Bible for Grooms!
The Groom should get involved at the early planning stages—after all, you are about to become a team. Weddings are far more memorable if you have had a role in planning the event. Your Bride will certainly welcome you doing some research on various tasks. There are a ton of things to plan—your assistance will be greatly appreciated. Being prepared and knowledgeable will pays off in many ways: your poise and confidence puts everyone at ease, and the Bride's parents will know that they can count on you.
Many Grooms don't fully appreciate the fact that how you plan your wedding with your Bride is crucial to starting your marriage out on the right foot! Weddings can be stressful for both the Bride and the Groom—nerves are on edge, family members each have their own agendas, and costs mount with rapidity. Remember, you're setting the stage for future patterns of communication! Focus on what's important by keeping things in perspective because none of the decisions and details of your wedding are anywhere near as valuable as the memories you are creating! This is a milestone in both of your lives, as well as the lives of your parents, family and friends, so be sure to enjoy it!
1. Get started on the toast to your Bride! It's best to do this early on so that in the months you are preparing for the wedding, you'll have plenty of time to rework and refine it. You want to be absolutely sincere, composing something you'll both remember for years to come. Make it memorable enough to frame, for it just might end up in one! No doubt, your Bride will appreciate this testament to your love for her.
2. Your Bride has a lot to do and will become overwhelmed at some or several points in time…sadly, you can pretty rely on this fact. Although her Maid of Honor, Brides Maids, family and family will be empathetic, you may be the only person that can make a real difference for her. While you don't need to have all the answers, just being a good listener can be all it takes.
3. Enrolling in dance lessons, or at least practicing, is often highly recommended and is a worthwhile expense. With all eyes on you, that first dance can be uncomfortably long when you are unsure of your ballroom skills. And that wedding video is going to be around for a long, long time, if you know what we mean!
4. Do your best to try and create some private time at the reception so you can personally thank both the Bride's and your own parents. Think about what you are going to say—all parties will remember these personal moments for a long time to come!
5. Be sure to get a special gift for each of your attendants to illustrate how much you appreciate their various roles in your wedding, and your lives. You may be changing your life style, but you're certainly not going to be changing your friends! These are the guys and gals who will always be there in time of need, so do your best to reflect your awareness of this fact in your gift selection.
6. Help to compose or at least review your engagement announcements, wedding invitations, marriage vows, ring inscriptions, and newspaper announcements to reflect your values and personality, as well as the Bride's.
7. Starting your new life together as newlyweds in a settled and organized environment is very important—especially after the rigors of planning a wedding. If you don't already live together, be sure to take charge of coordinating the move well in advance. You will have a lot of adjustments to make, so be sure to think ahead.
8. Have a role in creating or at least reviewing your engagement announcements, wedding invitations, and newspaper announcements so you can reflect yours and your Bride's values and personality.
9. Whether you do it as a surprise or alongside your fiancée, get started on writing your marriage vows. Ring inscriptions are another area that require a good deal of thoughtful consideration. Sometimes favorite lines from a mutually admired book, play, movie or poetry can serve as the best caption of your enduring love.
10. While it is traditional for the family of the bride to pay for most of the wedding expenses, most couples are helping to foot the bill as well. As such, managing your budget is bound to end up on your "TO DO" list. Regrettably, this is an area that is often trying for many relationships right from the start. Be certain to talk openly about it and make sure that you and your Bride are on the same page. Remember, you are a team!
11. Artful negotiations may be required when choosing your Best Man and the Groomsmen. You don't want to offend or hurt feelings—and for most, this is a very tough decision to make. Remember also that your Bride and her family may have some input on the matter as well—perhaps making the choice easier, or potentially complicating matters. When in doubt, do your best to consider the long-term pros and cons of your selections with regard to all parties involved—and Good Luck!
12. As a final practical point—if you intend to stay at the reception for several hours and will be drinking, hire a late night limousine or have a designated driver on hand. Also be sure you know the address and have a good idea of how to get there if you'll be staying in an unfamiliar area.